I won’t lie y'all, a bih has had writers block recently. I just look at a blank screen until I fall asleep and wake up pissed and annoyed. I keep wanting to comment on all the amazing and interesting things going on in pop culture today, but I keep erasing my words not knowing if I am crossing any lines.
Which brings me to this: To be Woke or nah.
Sometimes I be feelin like my head is going to explode. The idea of eventually being a woman in entertainment is as exciting as it is daunting. And I am trying to prepare myself now for the cognitive dissonance that will be my future. Last night even I was out with my girls and as I rapped and twerked along to the lyrics to my favorite raunchy songs a little voice in my head was all “Denissa now you know you wrong repeating those misogynistic ass lyrics with one leg in the air like you bout that life. Sit ya black ass down and be a lady” Meanwhile the devil on my shoulder is like “get ya girl to mind ya business so we can get these lyrics off”. Some tequila fixed that issue real quick.
My generation is stressed. With all the access we have now to information it is making it harder and harder to be blissfully ignorant. Where is the line drawn between ignoring the stresses of the world and just plain apathy? I remember when I was younger I mean young young, like I wanted to follow my parents everywhere young, the few times I was able to do the cool shit I wanted to with my dad he would always be like “aigght lil one imma let you come with me but no matter what you see... mind your business”. I needed this guidance, I really did, I was a snitch ass child and whatever or whoever irritated, annoyed, or intrigued me erryyyboddyyy would know about it. My mom and peers were sick of me, my dad was happy to have the tea. I was trifflin.
In my young adult college years this snitchery almost got me some stitches and I transitioned this energy into to “being woke” and losing my ignorance. I went through that phase I feel like all college youngins do where we start to isolate our opinions from our peers and create our own ideas. It required me to analyze and adjust my opinions to several things, even things I loved to try to become a better person. Minding my business was no longer acceptable when real fucked up shit was going on that I felt I had to speak on. But being woke was...is like literally having insomnia. It's not relieving to see the things around you that are wrong and try to change them. I wanted to casually listen to music, consume media and pop culture and attend spaces without feeling guilty or angry. Being more aware of what I chose to consume was necessary but to be honest, it just drains your energy. And being on social media literally exposing yourself to the ignorance and bullshit people openly think and say everyday? It be making a woke bish pray for narcolepsy.
So I went back to sleep, I ignored a lot for a while. I still stood by my beliefs but didn't always speak up. I enjoyed music again and ignored topics that were triggering or caused serious arguments. But doing this is conflicting. And it's frustrating. because I am continuously entering careers and spaces that are filled with people that do shit that's just wrong. And knowing when to speak up, when to speak out, when to have an opinion, and when to mind my own business is hard, especially when I want to be liked and accepted by everyone in these spaces.
BUTTTTTT if yall know one thing about me its that im finna talk my shit regardless, but keep it as cute as possible. So I've decided to make a little shift in my blog and dive into some topics dealing with the industry, but also general culture that may be a little more controversial as I figure out my truest opinions on this here journey called “securing the bag”.
One again, stay tuned.
PS: Wakanda forever, I love us foreal.
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