Hello Honeys and Haters. On this good day I came here in this safe space to discuss the Cardi effect. If you know me you know ya girl is a Cardi B fan. I always been and I continue to stan even through her continous screw ups (offset you know what you did). I love me a good round the way girl (New New from ATL is actually me...ask my dad how many times i tried to casually finesse my way to the hood)...so when she became instafamous I had to hit that follow cuz
her rawness is my aesthetic. When she transitioned from ish talking stripper, to hands throwin reality TV star, to hit makin mami, EYE was here for it following every win she got. So that being said its only right my first album review is on her bop containing, banger filled masterpiece: Invasion Of Privacy
Now this isn't going to be a traditional song by song album review cuz that's just not who i am. I am here to talk my ish, uplift the bih, and dip... in that order. So basically the album came out. I decided to take a lil drive thru DC so I could hear this album bump through my Toyota corolla speakers and pull up next to old people and make them uncomfortable. First song plays and I am feeling it. Reminds me of the Meek Mill ‘Dreams and Sunthin’ that everyone on the east coast knows all the words to (but I do not) so I always have to get a drink at the bar when it plays so its not obvious I am not hip. The thing is... music is good to me in three ways. Its either true art, beautiful and complex like many of the oldies we know and love, relatable as AF like a Chance song, or sets the tone for a fantasy life i want to live (I.E. trap music for the gangsta bih in my heart). If a song or album is all three then its pure fire. But to do that is hard to achieve. I truly believe Cardi's album does this. I listened to the first song and I’m like okay i see you shawty you does this and then boom the second song “Drip” comes on. Now suddenly my car is shaking and I realize it's because I am involuntarily bouncing up and down along to the chorus. It had me in a trance. Her and the (a)migos were singing me a trap lullaby. I was so relaxed and caught up I almost didn't hear the first line of the next song and darn near missed the roll call. But she came ready and said it twice so I surely caught it the second time. THIS FOR ALL MY NASTY H...S ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE. Now we talkin! She was talking to all the nasty ho...s and nasty h... adjacents. Not just from the Americas, no, but all over the world. The nasty h...s of Madagascar and Brazil... they all in this ya feel me? All being called to turn up to the iconic “Chickenhead” beat. But not Chickenhead...Bickenhead to represent all the bloods and blood legacies/associates around the world. The new age gang peeps who don’t always shoot people... but always replace their “C’s” with “B’s”. A more family friendly hoodlum. I can support. See something the bougies won't tell you is that all people secretly want to be strippers and or gansgtas. Sure, not real ones that have to dance for a bunch of overweight, aged men to get their student loans paid off or real gangs where you have to get jumped into the crew after school before you even get to eat dinner...but the fantasy of being THAT bih...you know you want that life. Being able to twirl on a tiny pole without getting a concussion? Even ya pastors wife is with that lifestyle. Trust me, why you think she be late to church every Sunday?
Bickenhead is the early climax of the album. It brings out the stripper p*ssy pawpin bad bih we all are in our hearts. But the album is not all classless ratchetry. She mellows out the boppery with rag to riches bops like “Best life” featuring my imaginary ex boyfriend Chance the Zaddy. The song is so joyous. Two 25 year old millionaires still on their come up discussing stayin true to yaself while gettin that paper and drinking expensive alch? Sign me up! Then for all the bilingual hunties she drops “I like it” which has that afro-latino flavor and that spanish that they don't teach you in spanish 101 with that Caribbean, Latin fusion beat? YA TU SABEEEEE. I cannot discuss the heart break hits “Be Careful, Ring, and Thru your phone” all of which make me want to pistol whip even the most wonderful of men upside the head. But she never lets us get too sappy because the twerk anthems “Money Bag, and She bad” keep our glutes moving for those summer bodies ladies! She ends the album with the round the way girl classic “I Do” reminding all of us bougie bornt bishes that unlike our repressed selves she in fact can do WHATEVER SHE WANTTT cuz she a free ass bih. I jealous. She has her original hit singles on the album as well of course “Bodack Yellow” and “Bartier Cardi” which honestly as great as they are, actually get out shadowed by all the new fire.
I say all this to say this is quality content. It's the ratchet album of my dreams. Anyone who loves a reason to shake they derriere or walk thru the life of someone who went from rags to riches will love it. And we all love an underdog don’t we?
Cardi is my Binderella, and this Album is an amazing start to her career. She always wanted her voice to be heard and guh...we listening.
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